Soul Patrol

About 12 hours after moving our two new companions (not pets, remember), the rabbits, into our home, I broke into a cold sweat. It suddenly hit me that somehow I had been talked into taking responsiblity for two more souls in this world. You're thinking, they are only rabbits. But still. Their destiny is in my hands. And if I screw up, give them toxic dandelions or accidentally step on them some dark morning, it's on my head. I can't even tell you the anquish I felt when we had some catepillar mishaps. Here we had removed these eggs from the wild (ok, our alley) and brought them into our home, caged them, and became responsible for their diet and safety. One or two drowned in the water jar which really teared me up. And then one escaped. Once I realized he was on the loose I examined the whole porch and eventually sat down to examine the treads of my shoes. You should have seen my hesitation. I took a deep breath, lifted my shoe half up, almost looked, and set it down (lightly) again. Then gathered up my spirits and tried again. Thank goodness he was not there- I eventually found him cruising on the underside of the table- because if I had squashed him I would have been a puddle. I know I am not alone with my sense of anquish -we once gave catepillar eggs to a friend with two small girls. The dad was very thankful and gave status updates quite regularly. But then the story came to a sad end- the family had been gathered around and actually saw one monarch emerge from the crysallis, they waited patiently while it dried it's wings and got ready for it's first flight. And they watched breathlessly as it lifted up and away from them, fluttering into the......grill of an oncoming car. The whole family was devastated. Rightfully so, I think. I can squash bugs outside as I walk through the grass and not have a second thought. And my windshield has been caked with bugs after evening drives through country roads with no real tax on my conscience. But once I purposefully take an animal in, give it a home, then the story turns.

And these rabbits are supposedly tricky. They are animals of prey and so are experts at masking illness and injury. That crazy Companion Rabbit Society warned that if the adults in a home did not do adequate poop patrol and failed to see a change in consistency, or a slow down in production, we may miss the window to get them to the vet and save their very lives. I don't want this power! I didn't realize I was signing up for this! I was chatting with a friend yesterday whose old dog is in decline. Things are looking a little grim and she is wrestling with end of life questions. I understand her discomfort with this type of responsibility.

So for now, I monitor the poop quite closely and I ponder what this aversion to this type of responsibility reveals about my character....