Let's go now, before I lose my nerve!

The boys are off at overnight camp. And I haven't heard a word. This is what I expected, after all I used to work at this camp and I know that it is only in the most extreme cases that we ever let a camper near a phone to call a parent. And the boys were mostly excited to go. But I could tell they had some nerves. It is quite humorous how their anxiety surfaces in different ways. Theo- he gets hyper. As we made it through the last of our packing before leaving on Sunday, Theo doesn't say much, but he can not control his body. He is everywhere at once- rolling on the bed where his clothes are laid out, between my feet as I try to walk down the hall, bearhugging his brother (who is feeling very prickly). Then there's Eli. In contrast to Theo, Eli becomes very still, except for his mouth. He can't stop talking. Here's a typical monologue from this past Sunday, "Mom, I am so excited, I can't believe we are going to go to overnight camp. I mean, I really want to go, and I know in the daylight I am going to be fine, I am going to be great, but when night falls, and I'm laying in my bed, I am going to be filled with regret! Regret! I will be so anxious and wishing I had never come. And then morning will come and I will be fine. Excited. But then night time again, and regret! Filled with it!" On and on we heard about the cycle of anxiety he predicted for himself. He would follow us around as we hunted down sunscreen, toothpaste, talking a mile a minute, Theo on the ground, grabbing on to Eli's legs, Eli with no time to shake him off, but instead continuing to dog our path, shadowing us, talking, dragging Theo along. And finally Eli yelled out, "Let's go! Now! Before I lose my nerve!" So we piled them into the car, drove out to Hudson, and left them in the care of counselors who looked great- fun and energetic, and possibly 12 years old.

The boys let us go. No begging to stay or gripping of hands. Just little smiles and waves and we were off, my heart breaking a little bit to watch them grow away from me just a bit more. I know that it's necessary and good and healthy, but hard too. Luckily we have a little cheat. My dad volunteers one day a week out at the camp. And he called yesterday after spying on the boys. He reported that he had caught site of both of them. They looked fine. No tears, no obvious distress. And get this- Theo seemed fully dressed, which means that he has not yet lost every last item of clothing that was sent with him. Rodg bet me that Theo would return home with only the clothes on his back- all else would have to be dug out of the lost and found. I took that bet. I think he'll return home with the clothes on his back, plus 4 pair of clean underwear in his bag- meaning the last pair, number five, would have been on his body the entire session- but everything else to be dug from lost and found. Today we find out who wins.