One day this winter when it was really really cold our furnace did us the favor of burning out. We might not have even noticed as we turn it down so low at night and usually leave before it really gets going in the morning. But Theo likes to curl up on the radiator first thing. He recoiled in horror when it was cold to his touch.
After I got everyone out of the house I stuck around to await the repairman. I had to do some jumping jacks every now and then to keep myself from freezing. It wasn't all that bad as we do have a fireplace that I can turn on with the flip of a switch- but that only heats the living room. Anyway- as I was waiting I was thinking about broken furnaces and wisps of memories of carbon monoxide poisoning started drifting through my mind. Isn't there some connection? Faulty furnace and sleeping people who never wake up? Just then an alarm started beeping upstair. Crap! The monoxide alarm! I knew it! But it was just making a beep, not a full fledged blare. My rational mind told me it was just the battery dying. My irrational mind said, "What's the chances of that? The battery dying within hours of the furnace dying?" My body froze. After all, it was already half way there due to the temp being in the 40s in the house.
After several false starts I went up and checked out the beeping alarm. Seemed as if it wasn't in full fledged warning mode, but the rabbits sure were. Everytime the alarm beeped the rabbits would start thumping with all their might, shaking the top floor of the house. Don't doubt me here. Remember Bambi? So there we were, alarm beeping, rabbits thumping, me flooded with adrenalin. Fight or flight? Was I getting light headed? Wasn't it getting harder to concentrate? How many minutes did I have? I figured the rabbits were my canaries in the mine and with their smaller bodies they would surely die before me, so as long as they were thumping I had time... I got up on a stool in this state and unscrewed the alarm. Once it was dangling from the ceiling by wires the beeping increased dramatically in volume. The thumping got wild. I saw the battery compartment but it had a warning sign and involved pulling out live wires. Just then I saw a button which I swear said, "Hush". I pushed it. The alarm really went off. Fire! Fire! Fire! pause Monoxide! Monoxide! Augh! I jumped off my stool and rushed downstairs to the circuit board and threw the switch for upstairs. Silence. Pierced only occasionally by the original beep, which now seemed like a lullaby.
This time I stepped boldly on to the stool, pulled out the wires, popped open the battery compartment and threw the damn battery down the hall. Replaced it with a new one and was greeted with blissful silence. Just in time to hear the doorbell ring and my repairman call out hello. So glad he hadn't arrived 5 minutes earlier and witnessed my frantic dumbness.
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