Welcome Max!

I saw my new nephew again last night. He's 6 weeks old but I haven't been able to write one word about him. I was nervous I was going to jinx something. But there's nothing left to jinx! He's in- he is now part of the Sage Clan, the new adorable son of my brother and his partner.
Pete and Jay were chosen to parent Max by the birth parents back when she was 4 months pregnant. Right away the relationship between the four adults seemed strong and respectful. They talked weekly by telephone- exchanging history and thoughts about the future. The birth mom even sent an ultrasound picture with a word bubble above Max’s image that said, “Hi Dads!”. None of them had ever walked down this road of adoption before, but all four proceeded with dignity and strength, building a trusting relationship in the last months of the birth mom’s pregnancy.
As the due date approached, my whole family’s nerves tightened. There were so many ‘What if’s?’ floating unspoken behind every conversation. And then he was born, and we were all thrilled- but the questions and doubts lingered. Pete and Jay were honored to be invited to the hospital and held Max within hours of the birth- but the 48 hour wait for them to leave the hospital was agonizing for me- just the aunt. The grandma (my mom) had to break into an old supply of valium to make it through. I don’t know how the two anxious dads survived.
After they returned to Minneapolis with him, the whole adoption process had actually only just begun. The birth mom had to come down to the Cities to sign the papers, and then she had 10 more days to change her mind. But now all of that has come and gone and Max is in! Pete and Jay have reported that they haven’t had much time to take a deep breath of relief- parenting a six week old is so trying and stressful. But now their worries are only about how much he’s eating, how to get more sleep, how to protect him from the sticky, dirty fingers of curious cousins…and those are manageable.
Witnessing this process has made me so astonished and amazed at the gift the birth mom and dad were able to give to my brother and Jay. They have wanted to become parents for so long, and at times it looked hopeless. The gift of this baby is unbelievably selfless and noble.
Welcome Max. You’re deeply loved.