This time I did win.

The boys had another Friday off of school. And again the day started off gray and a little damp, but my friend Deb and I decided to risk it and head to Chutes and Ladders. This park, down in the southwest metro, has miles of trails around wetlands, lakes, and prairies, but the real draw is the gigantic playground that includes a huge complex of slides and cargo nets and ladders. We pulled into the parking lot and the boys immediately disappeared into the playground. Deb and I stayed huddled in our recently unearthed fall coats/hats/mittens. But then Eli called out and asked if the boys could take on the moms in a game of Capture the Flag. We of course tried to redirect them to other activities which would leave us sitting on the outskirts, but they would not be put off. Within five minutes I had to peel off my coat, then hat, sweatshirt...it is quite a game on flat ground, but when you are peeling around a crazy cargo-netted boy-sized heaven, it gets the blood flowing. In the end I found their flag and in a move that should be on some type of instant replay, flung it to Deb who then sprinted to what we thought was the boundry of our territory and therefore victory. And she made it. Only the boys claimed that the district had been secretly gerrymandered right at the very moment of our triumph. We pretended to believe them and went along with the return of their flag. But in our hearts we know. We won. After they were all but led to our flag we were able to eat lunch outside in the sun. Then we took a hike around the lake which included sightings of beavers and frogs. It had once again turned into a gorgeous day spent entirely outdoors.
And the next morning I woke up and could not figure out why I was so sore. Dang crazy tag games.

Flashlight tag

I got home from work at 5:30 with Eli in tow. My mom and dad were here watching Theo and they had various bits of info to share with me (Wendy and Judy met Hilary-even gave her a t-shirt, some dermatologist says McCain can NOT last through two terms, Durenberger is voting Dem., Max napped and pooped, Theo ate zuchinni bread- this is where Eli yells- Where's the zuchinni bread??) all in a whirlwind 10 minutes. Then they remind me that we won't see them again until we fly down to meet them in Florida- is there anything I want to send with them? So I frantically fly around the basement digging out snorkels and masks- including the ones I last used 18 years ago when I lived in Antigua. Then they walk out and Jon walks in and we rush to get supper cooked and eaten and cleaned up before Jon heads out to Spanish class. And then I sit down to get a few things done before bedtime..... within seconds Eli comes in and asks me if I want to play flashlight tag. I do. I really do, but I have so many things to do and I'm still in my work clothes and...., so I try to put him off and tell them to go get started. I'll be there soon. He knows what this means.... But then I decide to forget what I was trying to do and go join them. And it was delightful. I'm still wheezing. Mostly from running full tilt around the house 1,346 times, but also from being a little scared of the dark and a little from laughing my head off at the great frozen looks you get when you pop out of the dark and flash your flashlight in an unsuspecting little face. For the record, I won. Kidding. Eli is watching me type this and I wanted to get his goat. I'm totally up for another game tomorrow.

Something you shouldn't have to see....

So, about a month ago I was brushing my teeth and had the familiar sensitive shot of pain on the left side. Apparently my gums over one tooth over there are receding at an alarming rate. So I pulled back my lip and took a peek. And it freaked me out. There is so much tooth showing that I felt that it looked a little skeletal. So I looked at it again. Shuddered. Left the bathroom determined not to peel back that lip and look at that again for ages. Five minutes passed and I was back in there. It was like I was gawking at a car wreck. I couldn't help myself. But I eventually got a bit of leverage over the temptation, and I haven't had a viewing in a while. But then....a few weeks later I find myself diagnosed with TMJ and am convinced by my doctor to go get a splint made- a little clear plastic molded thingy that you slip over your bottom teeth at night and it purportedly stops you from grinding or clenching. Little does the doctor know that I have recently perfected clenching my jaw muscles with my teeth apart. I find myself clenched up, tell myself to relax, separate my aching jaws and take a breath. Only to find myself five minutes later all clenched up with my jaws apart. Oh well, I'm willing to give the spint a try. Perhaps some yoga too. So I go in to the speciality dentist and they put all of these foreign substances in my mouth, making a custom splint for me and me alone. After I've planted my teeth into a variety of plastics I'm free to go, if I pledge to return 2 weeks later when the splint is done and I can get it fitted. I return and have the dentist pop this little plastic thing into my mouth, I bite down for her and she tells me to take it back out. Only it's so tight I am absolutely sure that when I do eventually get it out at least 3-5 teeth will be stuck into it, pulled out by the roots. But I get it out. She files it, puts it back, I almost pull out 2 more teeth, and on and on we go. Only at one point, while I'm patiently waiting for her to file it a bit more I glance over to the counter along the wall. And what's there??? A model of my mouth!! Like a skeleton's mouth-with no nice lips to cover up the tangled, crooked teeth. Just my teeth in all their glory. And I'm instantly thrown back to the bathroom mirror and my glimpse at my root-y tooth. There it is, right above that one that wings out at nearly a right angle. And I think, now, no one should have to get a glimpse of their own skeletal teeth like that. I know that there are people out there with dentures who wake up to see their teeth smiling at them every morning. But I think that when you get fake teeth, at least they are straight. The one plus these faux teeth of mine had is that they were white. That much was appreciated. But I averted my eyes after the first glance. And this time I did not give in to the temptation to look again. I don't know, seeing your own warty teeth all on display with no live flesh around them, it's like getting a glimpse of your own mortality. Yuck. I will not be posting a picture.

A little something I'm realizing about myself....

I'm sitting here typing with the most amazingly red maple outside the office window. When the sun shines just right on this tree it must be what it looks like to be within the core of a fire. For some reason I feel like eating the leaves. Maybe not eating as in swallowing, but chewing them up. Not sure why- they are just so vibrant and amazing my reaction is to want to chew them. I feel the same way when I see perfect baby cheeks. But I don't act on these impulses. At least not yet. But this weird desire to chew beautiful things isn't even what my insightful realization is all about. I've been aware of the chewing thing for years- at least since Eli plumped up after birth over 9 years ago and those cheeks tempted me so- what I have come to realize is that I have a real strong tendency to try to convince myself that things are not going to go well, so that I am delighted and surprised when they do. How does the tree figure into this? Well, now that it is once again the single most amazing shade of red, I have to admit that for atleast the last 5 years that we have lived here, with our office window looking out on this glorious tree, I have begun every fall repeating a little mantra to myself. Quietly. Kind of unaware that I'm doing it. But I say: "This fall is going to suck. The drought (or the cold, or the heat, or whatever I perceive that year's trouble to be) you know, the trees aren't going to turn as brightly. I mean look at the tree out back, the leaves are just going to go brown and drop, skipping the red. This fall is sure to suck." And I keep that tape looping in the back of my head. But then one day, sure enough, I'm sitting in the office and the sun breaks out from behind a cloud and I'm blinded. Every year. But I'm never convinced that it will happen again. So I stop by the window as often as I can during that one prime week in October, and I look out, and I am delighted and totally surprised. And really tempted to do a little chewing. I'm putting up a picture, but it really does NOT do the tree justice. It can't be captured.

Amish Friends

The crew of the Amish Envy Club came together at Jason and Shannon's house for the last project of year one- and I like to think we ended on a high note. The weather was perfect, the work not too strenuous but very rewarding, and the importation of two cooks from the outside world was genius. As the sun set and most of us relaxed in the fresh new dining room with a big plate of pasta and a glass of wine, Jeff wandered around with a drill putting up the hardward for curtain rods. I think that is a good sign that we reached some level of completion. I have a bet on how long the tape will remain around the base of the light fixture, but really, the house was livable by sunset. And then the sun went down and the kids went wild playing "Ghosts in the Graveyard" out back. I really mourn the lack of time my kids get to play out in the dark with a pack of kids. My childhood was a constant round of "Ditch" -a complicated team-based tag game that involved tense moments of hiding in the dark. I loved it, but it just doesn't happen in our current neighborhood. I loved the drive home with the kids chanting "ghosts in the graveyard...." with dirt-smeared smiles gleaming from the backseat. They anxiously await the next round of workprojects so that they can gather with the gang again. Here are some shots of their daytime trip to the sculpture garden with Jon and Joe.

Eli-isms

So I went in to get a haircut and somehow got suckered into letting the stylist recommend a coloring scheme that is really not me. But I went along with it, came home, looked in the mirror and immediately called my agent so that she could hook me up with an audition for Baywatch, circa 1992. I'm all frosted and yucky. But, as so many helpful people have pointed out, it will help cover up the gray as it comes back in.... Thanks. Anyway, Eli gave me a few sideways glances when I picked him up from the walk-stop after school. I said, "WHAT?!?" not at all defensively. And his response? "Um, Mom, um, your hair....it kind of looks like someone who is trying to be sexy." It was clear from his tone that it was an unsuccessful attempt. Love him.

On a different topic- when Eli gets a little anxious or excited he starts talking. And talking. And the yammering is like someone is tap-dancing on my head as he goes on and on and on. Last night we watched the Spiderwick movie and it was tense. For all of us. I'd like to report that my arms and legs did not go numb, but there was some beginning of the tingling... Anyway, when it ended Eli started talking, rehashing the whole movie at fast-forward pace. Kind of maniacally. I broke in and carefully said, "Sheesh Eli, you've got a lot to say right now." He stopped, chuckled, and said, "I guess I am kind of like Bob's wife from Open Season." If you've seen the movie you have to realize that the kid hit it head on. He is self aware, if not quietly introspective.

I think we agree that he inherited this trait from his maternal grandmother. Skips a generation for sure.