Road Tripping Whale Tales

Here's one story that keeps me chuckling as I think back to our latest family escapade:

We were on a boat, about 1.5 hours off the coast of Boston.  The boat was jampacked with other whale watchers and we had not been disappointed.  Humpbacks had spouted, shown their mighty tails, and even swam right at our boat before diving underneath it and coming up on the other side.  But there were all of these moments when they would disappear from view and you just wouldn't know where they would pop up again.  Everyone was peering anxiously all around, I think all of us secretly hoping to be the spotter- to gasp and point before getting the directions from the 'pro' with a microphone up on the top deck.

So at one point the whales we had been following had been underwater for quite a while.  Tension was mounting.  They were sure to pop up any moment.  And then, close, so close, I heard an extrodinarily loud blow hole clearing.  Wow!  Must be right behind me!  I mean right there!  I turned quickly, spastically, to look leeward.  To see (and hear) the middle-aged guy behind me clear his STOMA for a second time.  Seriously sounds akin to a whale's blowhole.  But it wasn't.

Metamorphosis

It's been a long time since I've put any effort into this blog.  Partly due to a bum computer, partly due to a busy summer, but also caused by some general discomfort with my usual subjects.  My youngest guy has probably always seemed a bit uncomfortable in his skin.  This past winter it all kind of came to a head and we tried to find our way into the mental health system in order to find him some help.  Nothing was drastic, but it was hard to watch the little guy go about his business while all kind of tied up both emotionally and in terms of his sensory system.  After hitting many brick walls we found our way to a lovely OT who seemed like a great fit right away.  And she started putting him through his paces.  Hard paces.  Which sometimes caused even more 'feedback' than what he had originally been dealing with. 

This summer we've had to back off the OT a bit due to lots of excellent opportunities to be out and about.  There was a week at camp, then visitors from abroad, family camp, road trips.  All good, but the whole time I watched my son closely.  He was always so tense.  His mouth, the vortex of his disquiet, has been torqued and tight and stressed all summer.  Really since birth, but it's been building steadily since this winter.  He holds his lips so tight, kind of pulling them over his teeth.  Not all the time, but a lot.  They are my canary in the mine when it comes to figuring out how close he might be feeling to equilibrium.  Tighter the lips, the further he is out toward a deep end. 

On our last road trip, he had a great attitude and had lots of fun.  But his body was a mess.  Shoulders up to his ears, lips drawn back tight, his somewhat limited coordination even more off.  He dropped his fork about 14 times per meal.  I watched all this and wondered when and where a steam vent might blow.  And I hoped it wouldn't be while he was on a trip with my parents.  I could see that something was coming.  Right before we sent him off with my parents,  I took my dad aside and gave him a little info about what might help should my guy 'lose it'.  I didn't say too much.  And didn't say anything to my mom.  Didn't want to up their stress level, as I figured my guy was carrying enough for everyone.

I then left for a meeting out of town the day before my parents were to pick up my son.   That made me nervous, and for good cause, as I recieved a panicky phone call about an hour before he was to make his way to my parents.  He was freaking out.  I talked him off the cliff, which is so much harder to do via phone, and felt pretty good about his reaction.  And then he left.  He was out of communication for a long weekend as they kayaked, canoed, and hiked up on the south shore of Lake Superior.  We talked to them once they made their way to Duluth, 5 days into their week long trip.  Theo sounded great.  Grounded.  Happy.  Relaxed.  And sure enough, he came home 2 days later and just looked totally different to me.  There was a stillness to him I hadn't seen before.  Maybe ever.  And his face was relaxed- no lip tightness whatsover. 

This morning he went back to his OT for the first time in several weeks.  I didn't say anything about the changes I had noticed, but within minutes of working with him, she backed up, gave a double take and said, "WHOA!  Who are you?  You seem like an entirely different kid."  I then told her what he had been like about a week ago, and the differences I had noted.  She called it a 'Neuro Pop'.  And that of course, what precedes such a pop is neuro chaos.  Things regress as his body and mind kind of coil up and prepare to leap forward.  Makes so much sense.  In the car after his appointment we were talking about this and I said that to me, it seemed like he had been in this 'chaotic' state for atleast 3 weeks.  He disagreed and thought it had been most of the summer.  He noted how hungry he was these days, how hard he was sleeping, and he's right- not only have things changed on some neuro level, but this kid is about to pop in different ways as well.

As I thought about this more, I got this image of a caterpillar going into a chrysalis- something I have once had the honor of witnessing.  It was not pretty.  Watching this caterpillar writhe and spin and flail as it desperately attempted to transform into something new was intense and actually a bit disturbing.  Or not disturbing, but awe inspiring in the sense when awed truly means "inspired by a feeling of fearful wonderment'. There was fear present while I watched that.  Anyway- back to my son.  I kind of think that what he's been doing for the past few months is flailing, writhing, spinning inside.  And to make things harder for him (but easier for us) he his stunningly bound and determined to keep as calm on the outside as possible because he likes to 'save face' at almost any cost.  We don't see the behavior outbursts that his OT warned us about.  But looking back, I now realize that he's been giving off a terribly intense low frequency energy for months.  And the only obvious indicator is his mouth.  Those twisted lips.  And now the lips are calm.  My little bug seems to have hit the next stage.  My question is, is he right now resting in the chrysalis?  Or has he already emerged onto some 'other' side?  Or is that still on the next horizon?  I know that changes and struggles and challenges aplenty await.  And I know that I am not really in charge of what he will finally emerge as.  But I am so relieved to see him get this current rest.  I can't take my eyes off his newly relaxed face.  Just like I kept staring in awe even after our caterpillar had made it to the chrysalis.  It just hung there, completely still, but continued to command my rapt interest, as I knew that more changes were to come.  I hope that in the case of our caterpillar, most of the real work happened just getting into that damned chrysalis.  From here hopefully he can just relax and ride this wave onto the next horizon.

Free Range Ticks

Jon took Eli backpacking up on the North Shore this past weekend for their annual father/son Superior Hiking Trail outing.  They experienced some fine weather, few bugs, and fewer people.  Had a delightful time.  The one drawback was that the tick population seemed to be at an all time high.  I think they said they pulled 36 off of themselves- only a few embedded, the rest free ranging over their clothes and bodies.  They came in the house after the drive home chuckling about the tick Eli had found on the way home and had flung in a panic.  They warned that it was somewhere in the car.  But then we found one on Eli's abdomen and called off the car warning.  The next day Jon proved that theory wrong when he plucked tick 37 from the ceiling of the car.  Tick 38 turned up (dead) in the dryer after a load of backpacking clothes came out.  That's too many for me.

What I find interesting about all this tick experience is that my gentle-souled Eli, who adheres to a strict catch and release policy when it comes to flies or spiders that venture into his domain, takes keen pleasure in taking a match to a tick.  Nothing he likes more than knowing that a tick is dead and gone, and fire is his assassination method of choice.  Not sure if I should be concerned about his or not....

Helping me get some perspective

This past Sunday Theo and I enjoyed a lovely visit to the St. Paul Farmer's Market.  Peapods, astonishingly beautiful lettuce (I've never thought of lettuce as good-looking before, but this stuff just is), jerky from the jerky lady, a few plants for the garden and some gifts for teachers.  But on the way home, when I stopped to by some more mulch, I pulled out $20 only to realize that it was stuck to another one (fresh from the ATM they were) and both myself and the cashier at the store barely realized it.  A quick perusal of my billfold found that this was not the first time that 20s had stuck together that morning.  I must have paid at least once with $40 and received change for $20.  Not that anyone was trying to cheat me, just those were some very sticky bills.  I was a bit put out about this until Theo piped up from the back seat with this:  "Well Mom, those farmers work so hard and make good stuff and no one ever tips them.  They deserve a real nice tip every now and then."  True.  Just kind of wish I could have been in charge of the size of my tip.  But it did make that pill go down a bit easier.
Later in the day Eli and I were standing on the deck looking at the garden when a chipmunk darted into the new corn seedling patch, dug up a plant and dashed away.  This brought our attention to the other missing seedlings and the neat little holes left by this chipmunk earlier.  I might have cursed, quietly of course.  Eli gave me an affectionate pat and said, "Well Mom, take a look at those perfect little holes already dug for whatever you might want to plant next."
Thanks guys.  Your bright side perspective is helpful.  But I might still invest in a BB gun to keep the chippies at bay.  I will not shoot to kill.  Just to scare.

Lactose intolerance

Even though I just wrote a post about how great Eli has been feeling lately (breaking into song even) it must be said that physically he's had some challenges.  He's been suffering some bowel issues.  He'll love it when he finds out I've written about this.  Anyway- somewhere along the line he did some research (cause that's what he does) on lactose intolerance and then convinced himself that he should cut out dairy.  This causes me some distress as I am a lover of cheese.  And yogurt.  And ice cream.  And anything made with any of these products.  But I agreed to support a trial lactose free diet to test his hypothesis.  Sure enough, a few weeks without lactose and he is feeling better.  I have tried to point out that it's also been during a time when we've upped his fiber and fruit intake as I believe his problem may be more about the amount of starch he consumes, not the lactose.  But he's firm about it being lactose.  At one point I decided to make him re-introduce it.  But that was doomed to failure from the start.  As he drank the cup of milk he started clutching his belly.  And once he starts to think he might be feeling poorly, he feels poorly.  Really, who doesn't?  So I decided the bring back the lactose campaign had to be more secretive.  I've been sticking it into his breakfasts for a while here.  Today I made pancakes with half lactose free milk, half lactose filled milk. If there are no complaints this morning, I will double my efforts this weekend.  I don't want to poison him, just want to make sure we are avoiding lactose for a reason.

Whatever the lactose case may be, we've redoubled the efforts to feed the child early and often.  He's spurting upward but still can't tip the scales at 80 pounds even when his clothes are wet.  By law, he should still be in a booster seat, even though he's just a few years from driving.  The kid is thin.  If he only had my propensity toward snacking, we'd be fine.

What a kid

Eli's in a good place these days.  Frankly, he's been in a pretty good place for the past 12 years.  But lately he's been feeling so good that he's been breaking into song.  This morning I asked him to clean up the space around the rabbit cage.  He sashayed into the room, grabbed the broom and began dancing and singing a narrative tune as he swept.  When he finished I spotted a stray rabbit poop.  I pointed out how it was just the size and shape to cause me serious damage if I was to step on it barefoot.  On the surface it doesn't look nearly as dangerous as a stray lego, but I am recovering (slowly) from a doctor's vicious attempt to remove my plantars warts.  I swear that if we ever experience a nuclear war two things will survive:  cockroaches and my warts.  I will not survive, but my warts will find a way to graft themselves onto the milling cockroaches.  I guarantee it.  This may all be too much information, but I think you'll find it worth it.  You see, Eli took my (jesting) warning that if he didn't clean up that last piece of poop, it could be the end of me and made it into a song.  He left for school this morning belting out these lyrics, "Oh!  If I don't clean up the last little poop, my mom may step on it.  And lodge it into her wart hole, where it will cause infection.  Infection!  And she will be poisoned and it will kill her!  Woe is me!  My mom will die!  Of a rabbit poop in a wart hole!"  Seriously walked down the block belting this out.  All this after he did bother to sweep up the last poop.  Love him.

Impressive work!

Every year at Avalon we ask our seniors to undertake a 300 hour project.  We ask this at a time in their lives when many of their peers are just settling into a long and entertaining 'senior slide'.  This can not happen at Avalon, as the kids are asked to be publicly accountable in the spring when they give 30 minute presentation on the accomplishments of the senior projects.

Each fall, when we bundle our senior class off to a small farm in Western Wisconsin to begin the senior project process on a retreat, we are met with skepticism and anxiety.  The thought of identifying a topic on which to spend 300 plus hours is daunting indeed.  But we've fine-tuned the process and are able to help most seniors find something that is relevant to their lives.

The winter passes with the seniors tucked into their research.  Occasionally they come up for air to pull a prank, plan a prom, or contribute to the yearbook- but lots of time is spent with their heads down, making progress.  Then comes spring- where each senior is expected to give a 30 minute public presentation.

Tonight I have several of my advisees presenting.  Two of these young women have gone above and beyond in such a manner that it leaves me awed.  Holly ended up spending 770 hours researching education reform.  Her final 'deliverables' included a 45 page research paper that was built around the reading of 232 different sources.  In this paper she lays out the history of the current educational system, the problems with this system, and then a blueprint for change.  Along the way she brought tears to my eyes with her impassioned prose about the topic.  Seriously.  Tears over a research paper on education reform.  I'm soft, but that took some talent.  On top of that, she led the charge in a lobbying effort with the organization Education Evolving.  The results of this effort was the passing of a bill that will increase the scope of PSEO opportunities and individualized learning in the state of Minnesota.  Then there's Ruby- a soft spoken brilliant artist.  She took on the task of studying folktales from around the world.  Then she selected four tales from different corners of the globe, researched the artistic trends in those cultures, and sat down to the task of creating an illustrated retelling of the four stories.  Her final product is of professional quality.  She is quietly thrilled with the results.

Both of these young women put in double the time and effort required not because they were hoping to grab some low hanging 'extra credit' from me or any other teacher.  They were not trying to please us- although please us they did- but they did this work because it was amazingly relevant to goals they have set for their futures, and beyond that, they loved what they were doing!  Both girls had enough credit and standards to graduate in the spring.  But they undertook the senior project challenge because they saw the worth of it.  They saw how they could grow and learn through it.  When is the last time an adult has had the glorious opportunity to dedicate 700 hours of intense work on something that enthralls us?  What an opportunity!

It has truly been an honor to work with these two young women, and the rest of the Avalon Class of 2012 this past year.  They have proven to me once again that our quiet little education revolution we are staging in St. Paul is worth the time and effort we all put in to it.