Lesson learned

I'm going to start right out with the lesson learned in case no one wants to read to the end of this tale.

When biking, if a bug flies into your mouth, just accept it.  Swallow gracefully and continue on with your ride. 

No one had taught me this, so when it happened last week while I was visiting my parents in Florida, I fought it.  I grabbed a water bottle, I drank, I coughed, I pounded on my chest.  All while biking.  On my dad's bike.  That has finely tuned brakes.  Unlike my own.  So when my mom slowed down to take a left, I reached with my left hand and tapped the brakes.  Stopped dead.  Or the bike did.  I continued on at much the same speed as I had been previously travelling and flew for a second.  Then I landed.  Hard.  On my face.  I remember my head bouncing a few times and feeling how nicely my skull was protected by my dad's helmet.  But that helmet didn't cover my face, or my arms, or hands, or any other part that came in contact with the asphalt. 

In the end I lost a large strip of skin on one arm (which my boys have taken to calling 'the bacon strip' and I do agree it looks a lot like that savory breakfast treat), knuckles, elbows, and knees were scraped, my chin and cheek on the right side of my face were nicely bruised, and I lost a tooth.  All over trying to expel on damn little bug.  Which I ended up eating anyway.  Or at least I think I did.  It may have flown back out upon impact, right alongside my tooth, but I'll never now.

Here's what I do know:

• I will now definitely never pursue that career in Mixed Martial Arts I was thinking about.  My face still hurts, one week later- and I was only 'punched' once.  Can't imagine doing something like that for a living.
• It's nice to have a mom who always travels with a mini-pharmacy.  She set me up real nicely with some pain killers to help me through the next few days.
• It's a good idea to put out the money for the serious bandages.  Now that I have that on my arm, I hardly think about the bacon strip. 
• I think less about the bacon strip now that I'm back in MN and wearing long sleeves. 
• Knocking out teeth is a serious business.
• If you are pulled over by a cop in Alabama for speeding, turn your face to show your bruises and missing tooth.  He may show you sympathy and only give you a warning, despite your excessive speed.
• If the face doesn't melt his heart, tell him your child just threw up.  Have a sickly child next to you in this case.